July 14, 2011
Gay Prince made his return today, a veritable Vincent Vega in his pencil tie and Pulp suit; as welcome to me as the undies of Robert Downey Jr (on my floor come Sunday morning).
And for once, I was triumphant. Super hero, hands on hips, cape billowing in the breeze, tri-oomph-ant. Because, much like a citizen of Jupiter resolved to assimilate with humankind to find a new life, I rose early today and coiffed my galactic ass to within an inch of its life. Translation: I have blushing lips, mermaid hair and hips that corner like they’re on rails.
There he stood, the Vega to my Wallace, hovering by the gunslingers.
Gal Gun threw her head back and laughed like a maniacal crash-test dummy. Not about to join the meeting of the mines (aka land), I gave him the nod and retreated to my seat (like a Grammy award-winning hip-hop artist upon entering Diddy Puff’s crib, yo). Then I ignored him, striking (I like to think) a beautiful balance between regal and reflux (aka acid).
Finally. After the first handicap African-American lesbian little person was inaugurated into the White House, my Prince came to stand at my desk. He grins his bing-a-ling down at me and (this is a good angle for me) I smile up him, as if he’s come upon me in a meadow of dandelions, my harp lying nearby. ”You look lovely today”. Booyar, bet your ass I do.
“I see you put in effort this morning.”
And there it is. Is this where Disney and reality divide, like the chasm that is Tori Spelling’s cleavage? I guess you’re only as good as your last disguise, and clearly mine was akin to Gene Hackman upon Birdcage exit. Gal Gun watches this exchange with barrel eyes.
I promised you back story, so here ’tis: I suspect they may have done the (drum roll)… horizontal mam-bo. If not in front of a live studio audience, then per’aps a little footwork in the lady’s green room (wink wink, nudge nudge). HONK! HONK!
See, Gal Gun has many male friends (no women, whaddayaknow) and, like knights of the round tookus, they circle her in a mirror of programmed reflection. Pseudo boyfriends to admire and make credible the press release. I’ve felt for some time that Gay Prince fit into this Seussian landscape someplace. But where, exactly?
“From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere!”
Until now I had remained invisible to the story book she was weaving but, as she struck down upon thee with baleful eyes and furious envy, it appeared her eyes’d caught up with her ego.
…so I find your weavings late, so?
They are all wrong, …..
YOU are a wordsmith, a word player, someone who can bounce them like a basketball or slap them like a puck, (sporting metaphors appeared from nowhere there is no significance), and that was what I wanted to ask at this late date oh great wuc, who much do you sculpt or mould this stuff or does it come straight out when you touch upon thought, are you so liberated from the culture and expentancy upon thee that it simply, uninhibited…….flows?
x
(that was a kiss for your cheek, reward for lightening my day, I shall dig here again, if I can find my miners lantern, this gold cannot be left unprocessed!!)
… dear Carpeteater, my words are like the freckles on my shoulder, they change with the passing sun. One day, they play at my feet, like baby crocodiles waiting for the day when they can take my big toe. The next, they make prison shivs of my thoughts, orange jumpsuits of my desires. On a full moon, they run with the tides, excited and maniacal. And in the early hours of any given day, they sit warm and willing, my transient allies in braids and berets. As possible to sculpt as the rolling surf or an unruly eyebrow …
Promise me you are going to take all these stories and put them in a book that I can carry around with me and whip out whenever I need to laugh. You are a really droll writer (and by that I mean smart AND funny). I’m SO glad you “liked” one of my posts and I tracked back to you!
Wuccle (a wucs with a cuddle), yo. Thanks so much Snydeen. I hope one day I’ll be published (or I’ll just print one book for you)!
You are an impressive storyteller!
Awesome compliment, thank you so much!
I absolutely adore your writing style and your posts always make me smile. C:
Bless you (and your awesome name), Ruby Wilde.
You’re an excellent writer — Love reading your posts! “Gene Hackman upon Birdcage exit…” Hahaha! Oh, and by the way, I totally visualized your superhero stance. Enjoy your Sunday! :)
Total cracks, thanks muchly Balloon.
Thank you for the Like today! You’ve got quite a wit about you :)