It’s frikkin freezing, Mr Bigglesworth.

Random thoughts which peppered my head today:

The first time I heard about man boobs was on DeGrassi Junior High: “Dad? Kids at school say I’ve got boy boobs!” (Crying) “It’s alright son, it’s gonna be o-kay.

Today, I stubbornly refused to flag down a bus I actually wanted to catch. I have no explanation for this, except that I didn’t want to appear needy.

Sometimes, I wonder how good I’d be in a hostage situation. I hope I’d MacGyver myself outta that puppy but in truth, I’d probably fall apart as if hearing the news Bea Arthur was dead.

I find it odd when people announce intimate details to the room at large: “Guess what everybody? I’ve been diagnosed as clinically obese!” Good to know, fatty.

What’s with the guy who gets on the lift and spends the whole ride watching you? It’s a drive-by stalking and I won’t stand for it.

Wind makes me angry. After venturing out for lunch today, I looked like Keith Richards after an aggressive handshake.

I hate people who follow me. I don’t care if you’re going the same way. Fuck off.

Sometimes my back is so painful, it feels like it’s gonna throw a Christopher Reeve. I wonder if I could ask the chiro to give me a Jennifer Grey evaluation?

I’m training myself to stop raising my eyebrows, it’s my version of Botox.

About the wuc

I'm a chick living in Australia, working for the man. I hate office work with a passion usually reserved for James Cameron, but somehow I ended up with a career behind a desk, stapling my forehead at random intervals.

51 Responses to “It’s frikkin freezing, Mr Bigglesworth.”

  1. I laughed out loud. If you knew me, you’d know that is a hard thing to do. Great stuff!

  2. Good stuff. I just followed your blog. It’s not like following you on the street. But still. You might decide to hate me, you might not. I can live with that.

  3. Hilarious! Sound like me on a bad hair day! tee hee, or is it wucca wucca

  4. A white car, with what I thought was a suspicious character (only because I couldn’t make him/ her out in my rear view mirror), was following me down the main drag in my hood today, even taking a detour along with me, to my irritation. I kept thinking, Get off my ass asshole, go the fuck around me, quit following me.Then I finally arrived at my destination, did a quick look over my right shoulder to make sure the white car wasn’t turning left along with me, and said “keep driving asshole.” as he/ she passed me by.
    After all this today, I laughed my butt off when I was meandering around your blog and discovered your little golden nugget- “I hate people who follow me. I don’t care if you’re going the same way. Fuck off.”
    It is always so refreshing to discover that I am not alone.

  5. WOW. I am so glad you liked my nerdy harry potter post because you are frikkin FUNNY! really. really funny. And I’m excited to hear all about your adventures.

  6. please teach me the secret to not raising the eyebrows i can’t quit – and you are a comedic goddess

  7. Pretty hilarious stuff… not just this post but in general… will be checking this out from time to time… thanks!

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