the wuc bytes – nothing to lose

Believe it or not, there’s one day a year where I embody the betterment of mankind.

On this day, I frolic through the proverbial with a photo of Betty White in one hand and a winning smile in the other. Birds perch on my shoulder performing Pink songs, I make people chuckle (the sound like Chopsticks on Buddha’s teeth) and I instill world peace with a single Tim Tam. And people love me (you really love me!) like a nipple twist at the World Rally.

I used to think this incarnation was my true self and the crotchety old miser the interloper. What an ignoramus, yo. When fools try to reconnect with this wondrous human the next day, they are instead met with me: Walter Matthau in drag. (Cue evil laughter.)

If we’re gonna silver line this puppy: I do get one day a year where other peoples’ kids don’t chafe me like Jerry Bruckheimer on every DVD extra ever-fucking-made.

But silver linings are for astronaut undies, my friends.

“It means, there’s a spider. on your mutherfucken head, man.”

Published by the wuc

I'm a chick living in Australia, working for the man. I hate office work with a passion usually reserved for James Cameron, but somehow I ended up with a career behind a desk, stapling my forehead at random intervals.

32 thoughts on “the wuc bytes – nothing to lose

  1. well, australian chick, I’m maybe a worse misanthrope than you, as I don’t get even ONE day a year when the stinkin’ human race — adults AND children — don’t make me homicidal.

wot say you?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: