The human torch was denied a bank loan.

Random thoughts which peppered my head today:

Being a wannabe Snoop Dogg, I once said to my dad: “word to your muther, yo.” To which he replied, “come to think of it, I do need to have a word to my mother.”

Today in the lift, I missed my floor due to pondering Ryan Reynolds’ undies.

I hate food courts. It’s like McDonalds made rampant love to a retirement home and we’re expected to raise the mongrel offspring as our own. I aint down with a place where sinking waistlines and rising undies are synonymous.

Meanwhile, if you’re gonna sit beside me, how about you don’t rub your foot up against me like a mutt stacking a rubber tree?

I think my neighbour is stalking me through the wall. He always watches the same movies, one day later. I hear you, Kaczynski.

My bus driver ranted like Nick Nolte the entire trip to work today. Props for holding down a job amidst the crazy, Grandpa; and crusty congrats on finding a literally captive audience (Tony fucking Robbins of the asylum circuit, yo).

Do you ever get sick of your face? It’s like having your furniture in the same formation for a decade. I just wanna say, let’s see how my nose looks there.

Coffee Guy has cut his hair in a tragedy of running-with-scissors proportions. He looks like Little Lord Fauntleroy (which, if you’re wondering, aint a turn-on).

I fear that aging might be like going from a Rembrandt to a Monet.

About the wuc

I'm a chick living in Australia, working for the man. I hate office work with a passion usually reserved for James Cameron, but somehow I ended up with a career behind a desk, stapling my forehead at random intervals.

76 Responses to “The human torch was denied a bank loan.”

  1. You are wuccin’ hilarious. I’m glad you stopped at my blog cause now I’m following you too. Loved your self description on your “about” page. Be wuccin you….

  2. Sanjiv Khamgaonkar Reply August 9, 2011 at 16:15

    “I hate food courts. It’s like McDonalds made rampant love to a retirement home and we’re expected to raise the mongrel offspring as our own…”

    Haha, can’t stop laughing. BTW, I think McD sucks and should be erased from the face of the earth

  3. I say that it is very refreshing to find somebody who really knows how to write! I appreciate the fact that you can also spell. Wot you say?

  4. You are extremely funny, clever and quite a wordsmith. Thank you for the being the first person to read my Blog at HOPESiCKRECORDS. You seem like A Hell Of A Character & I Look Fprward To Sensing Youy Debut Album When It Is Finito. Cheers~

  5. I would take the warm, fuzzy memory implied by Monet than the dark drab of Rembrandt if those were my only two options. Sadly, I fear many of us go from a full color Kodachrome in soft light to a gritty charcoal sketch. One only hopes you’re the old man with character lines instead of the bag of wrinkles we fear.

wot say you?

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