The human torch was denied a bank loan.

Random thoughts which peppered my head today:

Being a wannabe Snoop Dogg, I once said to my dad: “word to your muther, yo.” To which he replied, “come to think of it, I do need to have a word to my mother.”

Today in the lift, I missed my floor due to pondering Ryan Reynolds’ undies.

I hate food courts. It’s like McDonalds made rampant love to a retirement home and we’re expected to raise the mongrel offspring as our own. I aint down with a place where sinking waistlines and rising undies are synonymous.

Meanwhile, if you’re gonna sit beside me, how about you don’t rub your foot up against me like a mutt stacking a rubber tree?

I think my neighbour is stalking me through the wall. He always watches the same movies, one day later. I hear you, Kaczynski.

My bus driver ranted like Nick Nolte the entire trip to work today. Props for holding down a job amidst the crazy, Grandpa; and crusty congrats on finding a literally captive audience (Tony fucking Robbins of the asylum circuit, yo).

Do you ever get sick of your face? It’s like having your furniture in the same formation for a decade. I just wanna say, let’s see how my nose looks there.

Coffee Guy has cut his hair in a tragedy of running-with-scissors proportions. He looks like Little Lord Fauntleroy (which, if you’re wondering, aint a turn-on).

I fear that aging might be like going from a Rembrandt to a Monet.

About the wuc

I'm a chick living in Australia, working for the man. I hate office work with a passion usually reserved for James Cameron, but somehow I ended up with a career behind a desk, stapling my forehead at random intervals.

76 Responses to “The human torch was denied a bank loan.”

  1. Of the Angels Designs Reply July 29, 2011 at 18:13

    Very funny post–and very true!

  2. Do you ever get sick of your face? It’s like having your furniture in the same formation for a decade. I just wanna say, let’s see how my nose looks there.

    !!

  3. Hahahahahaha! “Pondering Ryan Reynolds’ undies”… nice. I do the same thing, although I’m a straight male, so for me it raises a few more questions.

  4. I say you are quite the clever writer. I decided to follow your blog because I seriously don’t know what to expect whenever I click on a post. This is a good thing because I love not knowing what I’m going to run into. Keep up the chuckles!! Or dare I say, keep up the wuckles?? LOL Good Day :D

  5. My entire life is lived through references to dialogue from movies. Love your thoughts. :)

  6. Fucking (wucking?) awesome blog, yo. (That “yo” is an homage to your genius). All those thoughts resonate. Subscribe? Yes. :) PS That poem of mine that you ‘liked’ was written for a Sydney-born dude. Weird…

    • Crackerjacks. Loved the poem (and can I get a, what the?) Your homage ‘yo’ made me happy in my wannabe rapper bone, thanks mofo.

  7. blackwatertown Reply July 25, 2011 at 21:11

    All good.
    Including: “It’s like McDonalds made rampant love to a retirement home and we’re expected to raise the mongrel offspring as our own.”
    I am hereby converted.

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