The arsonist has oddly-shaped feet.

Random thoughts which peppered my head today:

I didn’t know it was possible to injure one’s cleavage but have discovered that, yes. If red-hot coffee is poured upon it … it will scream in pain like a thwarted gnome.

Humanity seems like a numbers game to me. Like it doesn’t matter how many of us are picked off, provided there’s someone left to procreate.

Casual Friday and my boss shows up to our management meeting in a pajama top. That, or he killed a Wiggle and is wearing its flannel flay in Hannibal homage.

Sometimes I go deaf but for an electric hum, like a radio momentarily tuned in to another frequency – the kind only dogs or aliens can hear.

I’d rather be hog-tied to William Hurt, in Puff Diddy’s crib, listening to Kelly Osbourne sing country, than visit another fucken port-a-loo in my lifetime.

Do you ever feel like someone else is a better representation of you? Maybe that’s what celebrity is.

If I was rich, I’d design a fleet of robots to clean my house and teeth, thereby alleviating the guilt of asking another human to do so. (And I could unabashedly undie-strut in front of a robot.) Result.

Coffee Guy was dancing to the Blues Brothers this morn, epilepsy style. Little Lord Fauntleroy meets Elaine Benes, yo.

About the wuc

I'm a chick living in Australia, working for the man. I hate office work with a passion usually reserved for James Cameron, but somehow I ended up with a career behind a desk, stapling my forehead at random intervals.

147 Responses to “The arsonist has oddly-shaped feet.”

  1. Great blog, thanks for liking my post.

  2. Thats some funny stuff, thanks for reading!

  3. That made me laugh :)
    Thanks for the like.

  4. Bless my breeches! How much you did make me laugh! I have actually heard the scream of a thwarted gnome, for several years ago, my trusty steed Shadow Star didst trample one by mistake! Forgive me, for I am still learning the mysterious Earth ways, but I believe a Wuccadoo is a strange flightless bird you have there on Earth, is it not? Yours knightly, The Masked Poet.

    • Wucca wucca and an extended knightly wucca. It is indeed an honour to have you and Shadow Star canter by the wuc (bows with a flourish). My thanks, Masked Poet.

  5. You funny! Thanks for the like on flow………………..

  6. spiritualreflection Reply August 11, 2011 at 09:54

    don’t know who coffee guy is (though, I hope I find out) but the elaine benes dancing is such a great image. lol thinking about it.

    • Wuccles, thanks SR. Blessed be that bodacious Benes. She remains one of my all-time favourite characters, I love her.

      Lurrrrrrve. (To be said like a carpet cleaner with matching pile on his chest) (and therefore, a little creepy).

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