The arsonist has oddly-shaped feet.

Random thoughts which peppered my head today:

I didn’t know it was possible to injure one’s cleavage but have discovered that, yes. If red-hot coffee is poured upon it … it will scream in pain like a thwarted gnome.

Humanity seems like a numbers game to me. Like it doesn’t matter how many of us are picked off, provided there’s someone left to procreate.

Casual Friday and my boss shows up to our management meeting in a pajama top. That, or he killed a Wiggle and is wearing its flannel flay in Hannibal homage.

Sometimes I go deaf but for an electric hum, like a radio momentarily tuned in to another frequency – the kind only dogs or aliens can hear.

I’d rather be hog-tied to William Hurt, in Puff Diddy’s crib, listening to Kelly Osbourne sing country, than visit another fucken port-a-loo in my lifetime.

Do you ever feel like someone else is a better representation of you? Maybe that’s what celebrity is.

If I was rich, I’d design a fleet of robots to clean my house and teeth, thereby alleviating the guilt of asking another human to do so. (And I could unabashedly undie-strut in front of a robot.) Result.

Coffee Guy was dancing to the Blues Brothers this morn, epilepsy style. Little Lord Fauntleroy meets Elaine Benes, yo.

About the wuc

I'm a chick living in Australia, working for the man. I hate office work with a passion usually reserved for James Cameron, but somehow I ended up with a career behind a desk, stapling my forehead at random intervals.

147 Responses to “The arsonist has oddly-shaped feet.”

  1. I think you have a new stalker, err….subscriber over here! Love your humor… nice to know you are also in an office –working for The Man– stuck at a desk! ;) Although, I’ve yet to lose a soybean in my boob cleavage, yet! :)

  2. random thoughts can lead to greatness – or a rubber room and a jacket with pockets in the back!

  3. This is the lovely stuff the World needs to keep the smiles a coming. I loved it!

  4. Enjoyed reading this blog. Made me laugh and think.

  5. I am intrigued that you stumbled onto my blog and liked The Way. I am a new blogger getting started in this game of words and it is interesting how each individual is a unique expression of their creative talent. I have always been a devotee to Fozie the Bear and the Muppet Show, I appreciate the humor. I like the line about someone being a better representation of me. It would seem that to be true at regretable times of certain behaviors. I will continue to enjoy your blog.

  6. ha nice – enjoyed this…loved the bit with the pajama top..

  7. I’m glad I wasn’t drinking coffee when I read this…I would have drowned my precious in it upon reading the Wiggles bit.

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