Do that voodoo you do so well.

I feel happy today. Like a jelly bean after a lavish spa treatment. It aint a Disney day, understand. But my undies are nevertheless alive with the sound of Cusack.

The factors to my blissful briefs (aka the pantaloon union) are thus:

  • they’re clean
  • Gay Prince is in da hizzie (whoop whoop)
  • I’ve been offered a job

Yes, they’re always clean (I aint no motherlovin’ grundie miscreant) but it bears heralding. Yeah baby, GP is scrum I’d-like-to-diddle-his umptious and yielding a tropic Travolta vibe today (night diva, night diva). And I doompahdee might have a new job! I’m negotiating the salary much like Hugh Hefner negotiates stairs – hopefully yet with some trepidation.

So! Like a pimp, allow me to headline the pros: the new gig is with my current company, but at a different office. Which means a transition smoother than an exfoliated Clooney and (like Shriver upon the morn of meaning) fare-thee-well Schwarzenegger. Most importantly?

No more Cult Boy, no more kooks. No more gunslingers, dirty looks!


I’d still be working with the mental crew but from a distance (à la Better Midler) (with hula hands and a song in my heart). And. Four days a week. Motherfucken, and. In the same bedazzled building as, drrrumroll … that fabled fabio of hetero hotness, Gay Prince.

It’s as if George Michael finally heard my prayers. (Wham wucs.)

In pointiest of fact, I’d be working for his boss’s boss. Wuccadoodies. GP dropped by my desk today, paused for bing grin and inquired after my employment health. Then, upon learning this malodorous morsel, backed away slowly (like James Cagney at having a tommy gun pitched in his gut). Aww-kward (to be sung like my little brother) (macho falsetto, yo).

This could be considered a con. Also: no more Coffee Guy. But then, I suspect his lattes are hotter than he. And he looks weary of late. As if our imaginary courtship is taking its toll.

About the wuc

I'm a chick living in Australia, working for the man. I hate office work with a passion usually reserved for James Cameron, but somehow I ended up with a career behind a desk, stapling my forehead at random intervals.

79 Responses to “Do that voodoo you do so well.”

  1. Your posts are really creative. Your mode of expression is intoxicating actually.

    “(like James Cagney at having a tommy gun pitched in his gut)” – and you have make so many varied references. Really cool.

    Good luck with the new job.

  2. Congrats on the possible new job. I am sure there will be new and interesing folks for you to write about there. I can’t wait. :D

  3. As always, your posts bring such music to my morning. Keep us posted!

  4. Fantastic! Congrats on the new job and best wishes.

  5. At the risk of adding my own special sprinkling of voodoo-ness and jinxing you into the next millenium faster than the effects of a curry dug out of the back on the fridge after a night on the piss, congrats. what will this mean for some of our most-loved characters? will we see some new interests / rivals / nom-de-plumes? tune in next week (or next millenium as the case may), same wuc-channel….duh duh daaaaah!

    • Crackadooooodies and nom-de-plume nod. Sprinkle that spesh voodoo-ness you sprinkle so well. Meanwhile, who are our most-loved characters, yo? (Please don’t say motherlovin’ Cult Boy!)

      • at the risk of sounding like a new contestant for brokeback mnountain, the award goes to cult boy – who else could get the creative jargonistic juices flowing from your preverbial fountain pen as much as the anti-hero himself. ahhh, the depravity, the deviancy.

  6. A jelly bean is where hope starts, given to you by your first doctor before he digs the needle in -No! Not that you are due for the needle ‘cos with your banjo-picking liveliness the new boss will be lucky to have your bling grin each morning. Some people have all the luck.

    • Hey Goochy baby! Banjo-pickin’ liveliness, I love it. I’m not sure I’ll manage a bling grin each morning (or even weekly for that matter). Would you believe … monthly?

  7. You are one funny friking Wuc.. congrats on this new gig. Hope it comes to fruition for you. Nothing worse than hating your job, you deserve a break today. Thanks for having such a great mind. k

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