the wuc bytes – burglar

Note to self: do not drop a dry-roasted soy bean down your cleavage. Especially when your boss is sitting be-side you.

Like a pinball boomeranging between two goal posts (mounds de mammilla), it paused above the cleave and then dove forth, with the intrepid spirit of an Olympic diver. And as I sat there in soy soliloquy (shall I dive in after it on a rescue mish the likes of which Hasselhoff has never seen?), my boss turns to me in righteous repose and strikes up a conversation.

That’s right, folks. With the renegade bean nestled betwixt my bosom like Benny Hill on a Saturday night, I nodded professionally and took notes. Mmmm. Uh huh. I like what you’ve done here. And here. And … for the love of almighty Cher, give it up already!

Finally, after he’d killed my will to live with a barrage of Elmer Fudd Rs (or should I say, bawwage) (for weals, yo) and with everyone thusly averted, I surreptitiously scrounged among my bazookas for the bean that Jack forgot. But alas. It was … gone?

I can only assume the gnome took it as a peace offering.

“Oh! NO! I don’t wanna upset you.”

About the wuc

I'm a chick living in Australia, working for the man. I hate office work with a passion usually reserved for James Cameron, but somehow I ended up with a career behind a desk, stapling my forehead at random intervals.

70 Responses to “the wuc bytes – burglar”

  1. What a happy soybean, I am sure :)

  2. Had I ever dropped a soybean down my shirt, it surely would have landed in my lap. Gravity and a lack of cleave to thank.

  3. hahaha hilarious. I used to put my ample cleavage to good use and use it as a rest for a pint of beer.

  4. Thanks. This post made me smile.

  5. Any bean dropped down the front of my bra would find itself planted in the fleshy seam and god knows will possibly germinate and take root before I get away and plow the hills to remove it. C cup stands for crammed in bean catchers. They also catch coffee, salsa, and act like a food magnet when I’m wearing white.

  6. I just hope it didn’t find its way into the vale of heaven– but then that might be an interesting flavor. I agree about drinking and reading your post. It’s messy.

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