Things I’d like to say to John Travolta …

  1. Man, were you hot in Grease. (Lanky hot.)
  2. I’m sincerely sorry to hear about Jett.
  3. What’s with the black monkey toupée? Lighten up the charlatan shade – you look like the creepy dude Minnelli momentarily-married.
  4. My bro-in-law met you once, said you’re très nice and normal.
  5. Also, I don’t believe you flashed your twig ‘n’ berries to a masseuse.
  6. That said, I can’t give you a free pass on Scientology (sorry).
  7. Remember your film, The Experts? I seriously can’t find that on DVD, like, anywhere.
  8. I forgive you for Look Who’s Talking.
  9. I forgive you for Look Who’s Talking Too, too.
  10. I love a good action movie but the ending to Face Off was way too long.
  11. Let’s do lunch – I’ll have my people call your people.

Published by the wuc

I'm a chick living in Australia, working for the man. I hate office work with a passion usually reserved for James Cameron, but somehow I ended up with a career behind a desk, stapling my forehead at random intervals.

26 thoughts on “Things I’d like to say to John Travolta …

  1. His insistence on keeping Leonard’s dialog in Get Shorty (they intended to turn it into hollywood-speak) goes a long way with me… but… wow… yer pushin’ it, John… really pushin’ it.

      1. Yeah, lightning certainly didn’t knock twice on that one. Even the book lacks the Rum Punch of the first. Leonard does make for a nice surprise spoiler entry in “What author’s books have been made into more movies” discussions. Move over Mr. King and Mr Dick!!

  2. The Scientology bit really creeps me out too. It’s scary that it seems to have such a “hold” on people and that it’s so closed and lacks transparency or accountability. (ok could say that of many religions too now that I come to think of it).
    I’ve never heard of the “twig ‘n berry” analogy but an episode of CSI taught me the phrase “beans ‘n franks” that I sill laugh about.

  3. Travolta’s Gulfstream II is relatively quiet when he flies over my house. Barbara Walters’ is furiously loud. They both have houses near mine. Travolta is a good neighbor. Walters is not.

  4. ROFL! Loved this one! And twig’s ‘n’ berries are what “things” are called around this house too – caught me off guard seeing that on your post however! HAHA!

  5. You can’t help liking JT and you’ve said all the important things about the man. But what’s with all the planes in his backyard? He has planes like other men have woodheaps. Just see how he’d like it if he had to chop wood instead of flying all over the world. Yeah, how about that eh?

  6. Favorite John Travolta movie: Get Shorty. If it wasn’t for the Scientology, I would probably give him the twig and berries benefit of the doubt, but that is just so weird it opens the door to suspicion on everything. Still, I would totally have lunch with him. A person’s got to eat, n’est ce pas?

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