Initiative comes to thems that wait.

Holy shit box, it’s August.

With a new month, comes new expectations. None that I’ll rise to, but still.

In other news, did I mention that I’m learning Latin? Also known as the language of love (or armor inopiae) (lack thereof). When I imparted this in passing to the dubious fuckers who populate my working life, they responded thus:

  1. You’re such a random geek.
  2. Quôcumque, collega. (Whatever, dude.)
  3. Wow, I’m impressed! (aka I thought you were stupid?)

My teacher is a sweet fuddy-duddy of a man with a little-boy haircut slicked in gel and grey. Wrapped in scarves and soliloquy, steeped in comprehension and corduroy, he is the typical product of university … where time crawls and knowledge is fermented to become fruitful at a later date. I imagine he’s been corked and lain on his side for a decade, and now is a ‘good year’ ready to be drunk in. He speaks like Lemony Snicket’s Stephano and runs off on so many tangents as to leave your ear panting for punctuation.

Somewhere, he’s still finishing his sentence.

To be said like the cured cop in Kill Bill.

As for my classmates, it’s like a director carefully cast a reverse group of oddballs to star in an ensemble drama. Or like Judy Blume with wrinkles. And a staunch lack of eye contact. I like to think I’m the well-adjusted one and they’re simply scholastic serial-killers.

Meanwhile, I prematurely bonded with one guy, it prematurely became awkward and now I prematurely plan to avoid him at future classes. Such is my example of how to follow the arc of a relationship whilst skipping over the relationship itself entirely. My theory, either I’m too susceptible to and therefore sunken by subtext, or I’m a romantic athlete – shaving off the seconds it takes to get from intro to veto. (Roughly the time it takes to exhale on a sigh.)

If nothing else, ’tis indeed lovely to languish in language. To bathe in brogue … washing my neck with words of whimsy … scrubbing ‘twixt my toes with declensions and clause.

I’d like to think I won’t become one of those wankers who quote Latin at parties and correct your sneezes for grammatical errors, but I can’t promise anything. If it helps, there are fully fledged wankers at the ready, so consider me merely an understudy in the LA of life.

About the wuc

I'm a chick living in Australia, working for the man. I hate office work with a passion usually reserved for James Cameron, but somehow I ended up with a career behind a desk, stapling my forehead at random intervals.

28 Responses to “Initiative comes to thems that wait.”

  1. I noticed that your posts have been few lately. Your unique comments on life and work have been missed. I only speak Portuguese and Spanish but a get a half dozen daily from here.

    • Yeah, difficult to find a reliable rhythm, sorry Machimon. But I figure, as long as I aint totally silent, it’s a step in the right direction! Temptare experiri.

  2. I always knew I should get into the neck washing business…..I’m sure there’s lots of money to be had in that profession….. ;)

  3. I still remember conjugating Latin verbs in high school…and I won’t mention how long ago that was. I think my teacher was your teacher’s mother. Sounds just as fuddy and duddy.

  4. Good to know your ibid from your idem! You can have soooooo much fun with Latin:,Si hoc legere potes nimium eruditionis habes! d;-)

    I think a great Latin motto for your crest of arms might be: Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc! (Unless the Klingons have already usurped it.)

    Lux et veritas, wuc!!

    • Latin wuccadoodies. I can read that, just! I think you may be well ahead of my bellicose curve. Love the motto, though. Living up to your Wyrd Smythian name.

      Vestri scientia est grandis, cum meus rudis est iustus orsa.

      • Gratias sed non. Meus nihil scire… but I do love browsing Latin phrases and have picked up a few (and I know where they keep the rest, so I raid the armarium saepe). As The Dane said, “Words, words, words.” I do so love them (I said that part).

        Watching you bend them to your will is sheer delight.

        • Thanks, Wyrd! I like the phrases you’ve picked up – palpable proof of what’s so magnetic about Latin. A novus via delecto lingua.

  5. I had four years of Latin in high school. The grammer is long forgotten, but the vocabulary has been invaluable. Kudos for studying a “dead” but still very important language.

  6. I’ve never met a female wanker. There’s always the first, though.

  7. I’m impressed with your fortitude to venture forth into the unknown abyss of a foreign tongue. Good luck!

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