Trapped in a glass case of emotion.

There’s a disturbance in the force. Can you feel it?

Today, I went out to lunch with my ‘team’ – an awkward, alcoholic affair with sharks aplenty. For one denial day, we aspired not to be co-workers, just co-people. 

What the fuck was I thinking? Through a sea of red flags I waded, over the hill of hierarchy and down, down, deep into the valley of the dolts. I knew better, sure I did. But they dressed that slaughter up real purdy, they did.

Contributing factors to my dubitable downfall? The workplace – particularly Oliver Stone of late. The players – an assortment of assholes. The Japanese earthquake – which knocked the earth off its axis by 6.5 inches in March 2011. And – one wired Wuc.

Wired like Steve Buscemi on emotional yam-yam. White Lotus. Shanghai Sally, see.

If only that was the story’s end. A pint of awkward, with a wedgie chaser. If only, my friends.

Instead, after dodging a milieu of missiles aimed squarely at my Wuccan head, came the corker. An unsubstantiated second where I gleaned that maybe. Just maybe. One of them knows about my blog. This, here, fucken blog. If he knows, the gunslingers know. If he knows, it’s just a matter of time before my team knows. And so on, and fuck forth.

I could be wrong, but what if I’m not? What if. I’m. not.

One moment, I was standing in the empty basement of my surreptitious safe house. The next, I turn to discover forty-five pounds of C4 strapped to my load-bearing walls, wired to blow. If one went, so would the lot. A domino effect of co-people that’d level me in seconds.

To say I crapped my shorts would be an understatement. (Have you seen Trainspotting?)

And so, it pains me to temporarily say, I’ve changed my blog to private. Oh so temporarily! Until I can find proverbial patient zero and stay the spread of scourge, I feel I must. Hearty apologies, my compadres. Hearty apols. I hope you won’t abandon ship in my absence, for I promise to return to public before I next post. As soon as I goddamn can.

Watch this retroactive space.

About the wuc

I'm a chick living in Australia, working for the man. I hate office work with a passion usually reserved for James Cameron, but somehow I ended up with a career behind a desk, stapling my forehead at random intervals.

12 Responses to “Trapped in a glass case of emotion.”

  1. So good to have you back, even temporarily! I’ve wondered a lot what happened. But reading this post, I must say I’d have gotten major hot flushes about the possibility of having been found out, too. Hope all goes well and that we’ll hear from you real soon!

  2. I almost abandoned you….good save!

  3. I am allowed to miss the lava heat that flows here,
    It is allowed! Without my wuc, I freeze in the dormant volcano of your deposits, literal it seems, and the guess game of what movie picture flashed by in that last sentance. I am allowed access it appears but a User, http and title change solves your problem, so what is wrong dear wuc, what is wrong?
    x

    • Hey CB! I’m back, baby!!

      • where? when? how? who? Can I get out of my stasis chamber now, how far into the mission are we? How is the ship WUC? Did you keep all the airlocks closed this time? how is your memory? I don’t have to go and play with those pyrex memory modules again do I?
        – x

        • Out of the stasis chamber with ye! Status report: memory is good and airlocks have not lost integrity. We’re at the start of the mission, affirmative. Captain Wuc, out.

  4. I’m guessing my smart bomb worked then….glad you’re back on public…either that or you approved my request to see your blog while the rest of the world can’t…maybe it’s better that way! Good luck on eluding your captors!

    • Hey Whims, soz for the major satellite delay! I accepted your request at that time but, now. NOW! I’ve turned it back to public. Jubliant fist bump.

  5. Oh good. You’re back, and it wasn’t me after all!

  6. A force disturbance! Ah, that explains it. I thought I had the hiccups. Or hay fever.

    Glad to see you back! I’ve missed your wild, wuccy imagery. Now carefully approach that C4 and cut the… um… red? wire… or is it the blue one. It’s probably too dark to tell, so just cut one or two and…. then….. RUN & DUCK! Bonus points if you leap over something and hide behind it just in time. You’re the star, so you’ll survive. Almost certainly.

    I have seen Trainspotting (loved it, bought the DVD and the soundtrack)! That “worst toilet” scene is amazing. Takes you from gorge-rising nausea to this sublimely beautiful sequence… amazing bit of film making!

    For sharks, zombies and other evil doers… a shotgun and a cricket bat would be the proper thing, I should think. Load & Lock! Luck & Lunacy!

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