Tag Archives: bobcat goldthwait

the wuc bytes – burglar

Note to self: do not drop a dry-roasted soy bean down your cleavage. Especially when your boss is sitting be-side you.

Like a pinball boomeranging between two goal posts (mounds de mammilla), it paused above the cleave and then dove forth, with the intrepid spirit of an Olympic diver. And as I sat there in soy soliloquy (shall I dive in after it on a rescue mish the likes of which Hasselhoff has never seen?), my boss turns to me in righteous repose and strikes up a conversation.

That’s right, folks. With the renegade bean nestled betwixt my bosom like Benny Hill on a Saturday night, I nodded professionally and took notes. Mmmm. Uh huh. I like what you’ve done here. And here. And … for the love of almighty Cher, give it up already!

Finally, after he’d killed my will to live with a barrage of Elmer Fudd Rs (or should I say, bawwage) (for weals, yo) and with everyone thusly averted, I surreptitiously scrounged among my bazookas for the bean that Jack forgot. But alas. It was … gone?

I can only assume the gnome took it as a peace offering.

“Oh! NO! I don’t wanna upset you.”


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