That’s Hansel, he’s so hot right now.

Today I awoke looking like a cave woman, my hair between an afro and a high-five. Not as victorious as it sounds, folks. Ordinarily, this would be Gay Prince’s cue but he’s been interstate for a month, damn his unicorn ass. I miss him like the first season of Master Chef (primarily when hungry); and, […]

What’s with the frikkin tie, man?

There’s a dude at work who looks like Clark Kent… if Kent were a European office stiff of insurance proportions, sans baby curl. Euro Kent is six feet, square-jawed, with hair that emulates a dark, wavy sea. He’s as noteworthy as a blank sheet of paper. The spy in movies who becomes the ultimate jackal, because he looks like everyone and no-one at all. […]

‘Bing bong binki binki bakalava?’ Cousin Larry

Cousin Larry, plainly put, is that relative who is a total chump. A complete boob, sap or sucker. The dolt. The guy with whom you wouldn’t associate under any circumstance, if not for the fact that the same blood runs through both your veins (or if it wasn’t in the family bylaws). He’s the chump who gets too drunk at […]