Things I’d like to say to John Travolta …

Man, were you hot in Grease. (Lanky hot.) I’m sincerely sorry to hear about Jett. What’s with the black monkey toupée? Lighten up the charlatan shade – you look like the creepy dude Minnelli momentarily-married. My bro-in-law met you once, said you’re très nice and normal. Also, I don’t believe you flashed your twig ‘n’ […]