Tag Archives: Minnelli

Things I’d like to say to John Travolta …

  1. Man, were you hot in Grease. (Lanky hot.)
  2. I’m sincerely sorry to hear about Jett.
  3. What’s with the black monkey toupée? Lighten up the charlatan shade – you look like the creepy dude Minnelli momentarily-married.
  4. My bro-in-law met you once, said you’re très nice and normal.
  5. Also, I don’t believe you flashed your twig ‘n’ berries to a masseuse.
  6. That said, I can’t give you a free pass on Scientology (sorry).
  7. Remember your film, The Experts? I seriously can’t find that on DVD, like, anywhere.
  8. I forgive you for Look Who’s Talking.
  9. I forgive you for Look Who’s Talking Too, too.
  10. I love a good action movie but the ending to Face Off was way too long.
  11. Let’s do lunch – I’ll have my people call your people.

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