Things I’d like to say to John Travolta …

Man, were you hot in Grease. (Lanky hot.) I’m sincerely sorry to hear about Jett. What’s with the black monkey toupée? Lighten up the charlatan shade – you look like the creepy dude Minnelli momentarily-married. My bro-in-law met you once, said you’re très nice and normal. Also, I don’t believe you flashed your twig ‘n’ […]

Dear Baron Munchausen …

It’s been too long since we last said farewell! I have a lasting image of you at the helm of the Good Lady Hepburn, full steam ahead … your pipe residing in its usual position and your hat askew (after passionately kissing the good lady, Hepburn). Once I left you, I rode on to Montague’s (where […]