who the wuc is cult boy?

Cult Boy is the fucken chump who sits next to me at work.

He dresses like a Corky and watches me like a puppy waiting to be let out so he doesn’t crap on the carpet. Where other people have dysfunction, he has beige non-offensive answers to every goddamn thing. His cult leader tendencies and creepy I-will-make-you-love-me-even-if-I-have-to-forcefeed-you-rainbows smile are drive me Kurt Cobaine.

The sound of him eating lunch is akin to the lapping of Fat Bastard’s saliva glands as he eyes a baby. I hate his sounds as if we’ve been married for thirty fucking years. Every fucking hum, every fucking slurp makes me want to shoot him in the nipple with a BB gun so many times, it makes him look like he has a lopsided man boob.

Also known as: Flanders, Thunderbird Boy and Hymey.

14 Responses to “who the wuc is cult boy?”

  1. I’m diggin’ yo’ funky, zany way of writing and expressin’ yoself. Keep up da good work. Peace out!

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